8 Months: Getting back on track

OK, I am working hard at getting myself back on track. The last few weeks were horrible. I was binging and indulging in anything and everything. I lost it. It was horrible and I felt like crap. Now I am working hard at eating right, tracking again and working out. I decided to go back to the beginning. I upped my caolories back to 1400. I stopped doing P90X for now and have been focusing on just getting my elliptical run in. I have also been watching Biggest Loser again. It is amazing how much that show can inspire me. It pushes me to do better. It makes me evaluate myslf and why I do the things I do. And why I wwant what I want. I am trying to do a lot more reflection on my eating and habits. I am hoping this will pull me not just out of my slump but off my plateau. But mostly I am worried about the slump. Things really went downhill there with eating a working out. And it is scary how quickly you can lose the staminia you build up. The elliptical runs have been tough! But I will get back there. I will do this. I am not giving up on this. I want to be that person. I can see her in the distance. I can feel her hiding in me. I know she is there screaming to get out. And ultimately I want her more than the pizza, cookies, and everything else I have been indulging in. I want to run in 5ks and other events. I want to be strong. I want to be fit. I want to run and play with my kids. I want all these things. And I need to focus on that. Focus on me. No more dating. No more distractions. Just focus.