Worried

Last Monday I lost my job. I have done ok with the emotional eating. Actually the day it happened it was weird because the last thing I wanted to do was eat. Which isn't normal for me. Normally I would want to stuff my face. Instead I just wanted to run. Run out all the stress and scared feelings. Run out the sadness. Maybe "run away" from it? I don't know. I just wanted to be on the move beating the feeling out of my body. So that was a good thing.

So what's the bad? Well, I can't afford camp. And I am so worried and scared about what I will do without camp to attend. They push me to new levels. I am stronger and better with those workouts. And they motivate me to keep going. So what am I going to do without them? How am I going to be without them?

I'm scared to do this on my own. :(



UPDATE: I just realized I never updated so I will do it now. An amazing thing happened. I said goodbye to my fellow campers and explained why I was leaving. They rallied and DONATED camp to me! I got three months donated. And now I am doing some work for the Health coach and earning money to pay for camp. I LOVE my boot camp!!! ♥

Auguest 2013

I didn't stick to the 2nd detox. I just couldn't take all the prep. I have been trying to eat cleaner this past week. I really fell off the wagon for a couple weeks. :( I am so disappointed in myself. I keep vowing to do better and then I just don't. It sucks. I really don't want to keep looking like this. And staying this weight but I just can't seem to keep myself accountable. Especially in the evening/night. Some days I feel like such a failure. But then I wake up the next day and keep trying. I just wish I could keep it up. :(

Anyway, today was weigh in and measurement day at camp. I also signed up for the body comp analysis. Results are posted below.