The Beginning (again)

It has been a long time since I was on this blog. And in those 4 years I started school and completed my Bachelor of Science in Nursing. What I did NOT do was focus on my journey, working out, or even keeping my eating under control. So now I am sad to say I have to start over. Worse than that, I have to start over at a farther start live and have more to lose. <sigh> I don't know how I let this happen.

So now I begin. I am starting at 314 lbs. UH. I haven't taken measurements and I know I should but I just can't do it. Stepping on that scale was hard enough. I can worry about measurements later. For right now I am going to focus on the weight.

No more excuses. No more procrastination. No more whining. No more overeating. No more junk. Just NO MORE!

Trying and failing

When I lost my job I envisioned the days with doing my workouts, lots of hiking, biking, walks, and other activities. Also having time to do all the healthy cooking I dreamed of doing. Unfortunately the lazies overtook my life. Instead there was a lot of TV watching, naps and quick grab crap foods. And I gained. I keep making promises to myself to get better. But after a few days I will fall off again.

Don't get me wrong. I am not giving up. I signed up for another boot camp contest. I also got the fall detox. And while I haven't been perfect with either of these either I am really trying. I am promising myself I WILL get better and I WILL beat this. And by that I mean ME. Myself. Because I am the only one holding me back.  So here I am to write and try to track a new leaf. Wish me luck.

So first let me show you a few things from detox. These have been really good!

This is a stuffed acorn squash. It was SO good! I loved this and will be making it again soon!

This is a roasted root veggie salad I had for lunch. Again, VERY good! I especially loved the veggies and they smelled so good while cooking. I couldn't resist and added them to my dinner that night too.

Here is the dinner I had where I included the roasted root veggies. I also had spaghetti squash with tomatoes. There is a little parmesan cheese sprinkled on top.

 

Finally, this is a smoothie I had fro breakfast over the weekend. It is apple pie and while I was delicious it just isn't the same as my usual green smoothie and I miss my greens. LOL!!

OK, now. Lastly I want to make myself accountable. Or at least try to. So here is my goals:
boot camp my usual M-Th.
Hike on T and Th
Bike on M and W
Friday rest
Weekends follow a workout on my board.
Also, complete the 30 day burpee challenge!!

Worried

Last Monday I lost my job. I have done ok with the emotional eating. Actually the day it happened it was weird because the last thing I wanted to do was eat. Which isn't normal for me. Normally I would want to stuff my face. Instead I just wanted to run. Run out all the stress and scared feelings. Run out the sadness. Maybe "run away" from it? I don't know. I just wanted to be on the move beating the feeling out of my body. So that was a good thing.

So what's the bad? Well, I can't afford camp. And I am so worried and scared about what I will do without camp to attend. They push me to new levels. I am stronger and better with those workouts. And they motivate me to keep going. So what am I going to do without them? How am I going to be without them?

I'm scared to do this on my own. :(



UPDATE: I just realized I never updated so I will do it now. An amazing thing happened. I said goodbye to my fellow campers and explained why I was leaving. They rallied and DONATED camp to me! I got three months donated. And now I am doing some work for the Health coach and earning money to pay for camp. I LOVE my boot camp!!! ♥

Auguest 2013

I didn't stick to the 2nd detox. I just couldn't take all the prep. I have been trying to eat cleaner this past week. I really fell off the wagon for a couple weeks. :( I am so disappointed in myself. I keep vowing to do better and then I just don't. It sucks. I really don't want to keep looking like this. And staying this weight but I just can't seem to keep myself accountable. Especially in the evening/night. Some days I feel like such a failure. But then I wake up the next day and keep trying. I just wish I could keep it up. :(

Anyway, today was weigh in and measurement day at camp. I also signed up for the body comp analysis. Results are posted below.

Detoxing again

I signed up to detox again. I don't think I will post daily like I did before. But I might post some pics of new things I try and if I like them. Or maybe if I have an off day. Since the last detox I haven't been doing great with my food. Between vacation and Savannah's party there was a lot of opportunity to slip. Plus I haven't had much time for grocery shopping and that has meant I am eating some unhealthier fair that I have in my house. Not crap. At least I am not running through McDs. But not keeping up with the veggies I should be eating either. :-/

I am in pre-detox, where I am working on eliminating things from my diet. Tonight I will get my menu plan and get my grocery shopping done. Gotta buy my million lemons. ;)

I did start the elixir again. I know I had planned to keep doing it but that plan few out the window. Now to get the rest of my eating in check. Working hard.


And in other news; With George changing his schedule around I am not sure about the Blast classes I was taking. We will have to see if I can fit them into this new schedule.

Post Detox transition and impending vacation

The transition phase is over. I have added everything back into my diet; even having a glass of milk last night, and have felt no ill effects. I am not feeling sluggish or any tummy issues. No bloating. Overall the experience was a great one and I plan to continue the healthy eating. I know I will be splurging a little on my vacation this week but overall will stick to clean eating and then may decide to jump back into "detox" mode when I get back into town to help my system with the splurges I DO have.

I have talked to B and we have made a pact to keep each other on track with eating. I know we will be doing a lttle drinking but I don't think it will be anything like our last epic weekend. This is more about relaxing on the beach and enjoying each other rather than partying it up.

I am also working on putting together some workouts for us to do. I talked a little to my trainor and he said just to keep it simple. Booo! That's no fun! ;) So I am trying to remember some of the different things we do at camp (wheel of torture anyone? lol) and make a plan of action. And even though we did sprints this morning I am keeping with my idea of sprints on the beach. How can I not take advantage of that situation? Hopefully I can talk B into doing it with me. I have a feeling she will chicken out. But if it is just me then oh well. I WILL get it done. So here's to seeing and talking to you next week!

Detox Day 11

Today is the last day of te detox. After this I will be in "transition". During transition we are to slowly (1 per day or so) add back in the items we eliminated from our diet. Dairy, grains, nuts, ect. And to pay attention to how our body reacts to these. While I am excited to be able to eat that stuff again, I am worried about what it might mean for me weight wise. I suppose I will just have to see.

So this morning I had my usual morning routine with drinks and workout and such. Then for my morning snack I had made a smoothie. I don't remember the name but it was watermelon, fennel, and mint. I hated it. So much that I couldn't even stomach drinking it. Needless to say I dumped it. I didn't even get a pic first.

For lunch I had tomato bisque and a salad. I wasn't a fan of the soup but it was decent. The salad was my own and didn't come from the detox menu but was still just fresh, real ingredients. It was awesome of course. I didn't even use any dressing.

For snack I had a very small amount of trail mix but I just wasn't in the mood for it so I put it away. I forgot about my cranberry flush until 3 so I drank it then.

For dinner I again fell off the "planned" meals. I made eggs with veggies mixed in. It was good. Too good. My kids were stealing my dinner again. ;)

This detox is now officially over, besides doing transition. She is offering another one mid July. We'll see.